Oh my sweet boy, Bridger. He is only happy if he is busy and preferably outside, being busy. The weather has been so mild this winter, we've been able to get outside most days. On days when we can't get outside, we both go a little crazy, but we've tried a lot of new activities to keep us busy and most of them are great (thank goodness for Pinterest)! Bridger still doesn't sleep through the night and has a really hard time calming down once something sets him off, but we are working through it and things are much better than a couple months ago. I love this boy so much; he is hilarious with his animal noises, singing at the top of his lungs, and infectious laugh.
Ty has been the easiest baby - I didn't know such a baby existed, but I got him and I seriously count my blessings every day. He eats, coos and smiles for about an hour, and then falls asleep. In his last doctor's appointment, we found that he had a major flat spot on his head, so we've been keeping him off his back as much as possible. Its been hard on us both - Ty would rather be on his back and observe his little world, but he takes it all in stride. I love him so much.
The longer I am married to this guy, the more I am in awe of him. He wakes up when Bridger wakes up (way before the sun comes up), goes to school, comes home, helps me pick up our messy apartment, plays with the boys for a few minutes, bathes Bridger and puts him to bed, then studies until the early hours of the morning, falls into bed, and starts all over again in just a few hours. I am so grateful for him. He has such goodness and I love just being around him. He is the best part of my life and makes me so happy.
Tim started school last Monday and we are so happy it is his last semester. We wish we could push a fast forward button to get to April, but we'll try to find the good moments in between the long nights and cold days. Tim has been the most incredible husband and dad - he takes Bridger every second not spent at school, cleans up after everyone, and takes my temper tantrums in stride. He really deserves a prize, a big one. I love him so much.
BRIDGER
I cannot even begin to say how much I love this boy. He has the sweetest personality and is so much fun to be around. I've never seen so much energy bottled up in one person. The arrival of Ty has been extremely difficult for Bridger. This past month, we've dealt with a lot of regression (not talking, not sleeping, out of control temper tantrums) and insecurity. For example, we were heading out to run errands, and Bridger saw me putting Ty in the car first. He totally panicked and cried, "Wait! Wait!" He thought we were going to leave him and was coming unglued. He has needed a lot of extra hugs and kisses and unfortunately, time outs. Luckily, he adores Ty and only gives his parents a hard time.
The hardest part about having a new baby has been having a toddler at the same time. However, things are getting better. In order to get Bridger to sleep without having a complete come-apart (he would cry and scream for an hour before he would fall asleep on the floor by the door), we decided to implement a bedtime routine chart. I didn't think it would really work since Bridger is not even 2.5 yet, but the chart turned out to be heaven sent for us. Bridger doesn't cry at all anymore and loves his chart. Yes, Tim still has to sleep with him...baby steps.
TY
Ty will be one month old tomorrow. He is such a sweet baby. He still mostly sleeps and eats, but I can't complain - super low maintenance. We are seeing his features come out more and more and think he is one good lookin' little boy. He looks more like Tim than me, and I am so grateful. He loves to grunt and fart and worst of all - projectile vomit. When he started spitting up three feet in front of him, I thought he was sick - nope, I guess some babies just can't hold their milk and Ty is one of them. Overall, we are a happy family and couldn't be more grateful for this time in our lives.
Tim snapped this awful picture of me veg-ing out on the couch the day before we went to the hospital
Ty was born Friday, December 12th, at 12:07 p.m. - two days after his due date. Bridger had come 3 days early so I was not expecting to see my due date, let alone pass it by. However, I was feeling good and I still wasn't quite ready, mentally, for another baby. On Thursday, the Hospital called and told me to be ready for my induction at 6:15 a.m. After I hung up the phone, I felt excitement, probably for the first time in 9 months - shameful. Tim's parents were there the next morning and off we went.
I picked up the phone outside the Labor and Delivery and said, "I'm here to have a baby." I was actually feeling cheerful that morning, especially as I saw women coming into the waiting room moaning and in tears. I was hooked up to an IV a couple hours later and then maybe 30 minutes after that, I got an epidural. The very worst part of the whole process was the IV. The site stung the entire time and I couldn't move easily because every time I did, the tubes would pull and then it would hurt even worse. I remember the first time getting an epidural - I didn't feel anything, nothing from the waist down. This time, I could still move my legs and I could feel the contractions in the form of pressure in the back. I can't say I was in pain, I was just totally uncomfortable the whole time.
About 4 hours later, I was done. The nurse had come in to check me and said I was only dilated to a 4 and totally effaced. I still don't know what effacement means, but I knew I had to dilate to a 10 in order for a baby to get here, so I was pretty frustrated. I cried to Tim, "I'm going to be here ALL DAY!" He tried to take my mind off my woes by turning on Netflix, but I couldn't concentrate. I tried to turn to my side, but something felt off. I called the Nurses station to come check me. When the nurse arrived, she took one look and said, "Oh, I see a head."
From that second, it was complete pandemonium. Nurses rushed in, talking fast, moving things around - a nurse called out the door, "Code White, Code White, get a doctor in here NOW." Tim had gone out into the hall - so I called him and said, "Get in here, the baby's coming." My doctor rushed in, but while he was getting his gloves on, the head came out and a second later, the body. The nurse who had come to check me, barely caught him in time. I think I gave a half push.
The cutest little cry I have ever heard came out of the cutest little body. I was in shock. I was expecting to wait 4 more hours, not 4 more minutes. While I was being stitched up (no time to cut, so I tore), I was just looking at Ty, wondering when they would bring him to me. As soon as they laid him on my chest, he calmed down immediately. I was totally smitten. He had the cutest dimples, and was really perfect. When they gave me Bridger, he would not calm down, just kept on wailing. A few hours later, Tim and I kept saying over and over, "I can't believe how calm he is. He isn't crying. Do you think he'll stay like this? Isn't he wonderful?"
As far as the recovery goes, I have been amazed how much better I feel already. When I gave birth the first time, I felt like I had been run over by a truck...for months. It's been a week, and I feel almost back to normal (except for the 30+ pounds I have to lose). Everything about this recovery has been easier. Plus, Ty sleeps ALL THE TIME, so it makes up for Bridger not sleeping at all.
Bridger is totally engrossed in the terrible twos; he is not easy and really, never has been. I think I realize that more now that I see his brother, who is a perfect angel, comparatively. I'm a little afraid for Tim to go back to school, but I'm sure we'll make it through the winter semester - we'll just go to indoor parks and let Bridger run and run and runnnn.
I was wondering this morning, how I could be so blessed to have this new little guy in our lives. As soon as I found out I was pregnant, I started praying for a good sleeper, and so far, my prayers have been answered. I am so grateful to a merciful Heavenly Father who knew how much I needed this beautiful, peaceful boy. I am so happy and thankful for my little family of boys. Merry Christmas.
Bridger trying to stay in the loop
Tim has been taking care of Bridger since I got home...and cooking, cleaning, keeping me happy, etc. I am so grateful for him.
As this pregnancy is winding down (three more weeks, baby) , I've been thinking about how different its been from my first. My cravings were different, my body and emotions were different, and my life was different. To be more specific, here is a little list I came up with:
1 - EMOTIONS: I was beyond thrilled to find out I was pregnant with Bridger. Being pregnant was foremost on my mind, all the time. This time around, I was shocked it happened so fast and I was am terrified. Why was I so scared? Because I knew what I was in for - and it is no vacation to Hawaii. Having a newborn is more like an post-apocalyptic survival trek (I obviously exaggerate, but with my hormones out of whack, that is how I remember it). I am excited to meet #2 and I know I will adore him, but the joyful anticipation is tempered by knowing what lack of sleep does for me, and let us not forget about child #1 - Is Bridger going to poke the baby in the eye when I run to the bathroom for two seconds, leaving his brother blind forever? Is he going to sit on the baby's face, leaving him permanently demented?! Will Bridger feel betrayed and isolated because he's not #1 anymore? I was so carefree with my first pregnancy. As you can see, not so much this time around.
2 - BODY: Bodies do SO much better the first time. Granted, I was pretty nauseated my first trimester and threw up a dozen times with #1 (eating protein in the morning is the trick), but I don't remember any out-of-the-ordinary pains - I just gained 40 pounds. I walked throughout most of my pregnancy and felt pretty dang good until a week or two before #1 came. This time, I've called the doctor's office about a number of random pains and went to the L&D around 30 weeks because I was so worried that something was wrong with my body or baby. Turns out, your body is just used to being pregnant and doesn't fight so hard to get you back to normal. Round Ligament Pain was a serious problem this time - walking after five minutes was unbearable. When I asked the doctor about the pressure I've been feeling in my lower stomach (and even rectum...fun surprise), he shrugged and said, you don't have the muscle strength to hold everything up anymore; wait 'till your 4th or 5th pregnancy." No sir. I have heard that recovery time is shorter with each pregnancy and that is something I am definitely hoping for in my case. For future reference (for future Carlee), don't go to the L&D unless you are bleeding gallons - they torture you there.
3 - LIFE: Life with a very busy toddler = very busy mama. I haven't had much time to think about #2, we don't even have a name for him yet. When I was pregnant with Bridger, I imagined a sweet calm cherub, giggling ever so sweetly. I have no illusions with #2, but I do have experience. I am definitely more prepared to welcome this new baby into our home and I know I will make it through, because the sleepless nights DO END, the painful nursing does stop, your body eventually heals, and everything is a stage. I've gone through hard and easy stages with Bridger and I will again. Babies are wonderful and toddlers are a total party. I need to remember that children make my life completely full in so many different ways. They help us to become better people and we are blessed for bringing them here, so bring it on.
