St. George

Spring is more beautiful in Provo than almost anywhere else.  It might be the snow and freezing cold, but feeling that warm sun is literally like defrosting your body and mind.  The last few weeks before Bridger and I left for St. George, we enjoyed every possible second outside.  Leaving was so hard because I felt like we were going to miss the best time in Provo.  However, its not we'll be gone long.  Our internship is already half way over. These are some pictures we took in Provo a few days before we left.

 

This is absolute truth - St. George is a cut of paradise.  Bridger has been in outdoor heaven.  My parents have a grand backyard and it hasn't been too hot yet, so I just sit on the swing and watch Bridger run around like a mad man, smelling the flowers in my mom's pots, and flying down the slide.  Paige and her kids came up to visit for a few weeks, so Bridger has been playing with his cousins and having an absolute party.  Just thinking of going back to Provo gives me hives.  Its been so relaxing to be with family - Bridger is a little obsessed with his grandpa and my mom cooks the most gourmet meals and walks with me in the mornings.  I have the sweetest parents.  Why can't we just buy a little house down the street and live here forever?

I haven't gone into much detail about Tim's internship but they have just spoiled him and he is having the best time.  He is learning so much and really likes the guys he works with.  The best part of his job, for me, is that I get to see him at a normal hour every night.  He gets home around six, and then its a party until 10.  He is more than my best friend - there is no one I would rather hangout with than him.  I love him so much and I am so happy we have had this time to see more of each other.

Therapy

So sometimes I have a tendency toward melancholy.  At the beginning of our marriage, Tim would get frustrated and ask, "Why can't you just be happy?"  He doesn't get frustrated anymore, he gives me the night off.  Last night, he could tell I was done...with Bridger.  So, he took over and told me to take some time.  I did.  I went to the library and got a book I've been waiting to read and after, I went to the dollar movie.  I got my 30 cent candy and relaxed while I enjoyed a good show, "Life of Walter Mitty."  I came home so much happier and more appreciative of life and my family.  

Before Bridger came, I struggled with depression sometimes, but I knew I was fine.  Now it seems I struggle with anxiety as well.  Tim knows when I have nightmares and has to wake me up.  I have anxiety attacks more frequently.  Its exhausting.  However, there are some things that really seem to relieve these problems.  First and foremost, for me, is walking.  I don't like to run because it hurts, but when its nice outside, or even semi-nice, I get outside and walk.  Nothing else helps me feel dramatically better in such a short amount of time.  Granted, I walk fast and walk up hills, but I think just being outside is part of what makes me happy.  Plus, Bridger loves to get out and run the energy out, so win-win.   Lately, I've gotten into puzzles.  There is something so satisfying about putting puzzle pieces together and it takes up all my thoughts, so I don't have time to dwell on anything else.  Lastly, a good book - nothing takes me away like a good book.  

In the future, I hope to get a good babysitter (when we start making money), but until then, there are always things I can do to be happier now.

 

And lets not forget that this boy really does make me happy.

My mother-in-law gave Bridger all of these fun busy bags for Christmas and absolutely he loves them, so I've been trying to add to them..for under $3.  Golf tees and a foam block, check.

The zoo had a free day a couple of weeks ago, so some friends and I took our babies and checked out the sad animals (they really looked sad, but Bridger couldn't tell).  He loved the giraffes, elephants, and seals.  It would have been much more fun if I could have kept track of Bridger.  He was running around like a wild animal, very appropriate.

I think we live in one of the most beautiful places on earth, especially when the sun comes out.  I love the mountains.

This kid loves slides.  He climbs right up and goes down all by himself.  Unfortunately though, this was taken right before he fell off.  Bad mom, bad!

Movie Watching

Lately, I've been feeling like a bad mom.  Bridger has gotten into the movie-watching phase and I can't decide if its bad or good.  I feel bad letting him watch movies for 4 hours out of the day and I feel good not having to chase him around for 4 hours out of the day.  Its strange because I think, oh now I can get something done while he's watching a movie - I don't get anything done.  In fact, its 2:30 and I have yet to get in the shower.  What is wrong with me?  I've been feeling like it might be time to start thinking about another baby, but every time I do, I get panicked and realize that if I can't do much with one, how could I accomplish anything with two?  I wish I were more patient, outgoing, kind, happy, etc.  Can I become those things before number two rolls along?  I have serious doubts.  For now, I am incredibly grateful for my crazy wild man, Bridger and for my absolutely amazing, patient, beautiful husband.

 

I think this is the part when all the animals come and see Simba for the first time.  He's saying, "Mom, get out of the way."

Short Recap on Christmas Break

Just wanted to quickly recap Christmas break.  It was pretty busy but we had a great time.  This year, we got to spend the holidays with both families - we really lucked out.  For Christmas, we went to St. George and hung out for a few days.  After we got home, Tim's parents and brother flew out to visit us and Tim's brothers family.  They are the sweetest most generous people alive and I am so beyond lucky to be apart of their family.  One night they babysat Bridger while Tim and I went on the best date ever - provided by his brother and wife.  They got us a reservation at The Roof on temple square and amazing seats at the Utah Symphony.  Wowza.  I haven't had that much fun in a long time.  The experience made me want to get babysitters more often.  It was truly a once in a lifetime (or very longtime) date and I can not say thank you enough to Bryan and Ari for the sweetest gift (we took tons of pictures on Tim's phone but I couldn't figure out how to get them off his phone ).  And lets not forget the tons of snow we got.

Ryan's Farewell

Over the weekend, Tim and I drove down to St. George to see my youngest brother, Ryan, for the last time...or what feels like the last time.  Two years is a long time.  He was called to Cochabamba, Bolivia and will be at the MTC in Columbia for six weeks.  I've never seen anyone so ready to spread the word.  There were over one hundred people that came to the house after his farewell - Ryan is definitely my most outgoing sibling and I know he'll change lots of lives in Bolivia.  It was nice to be with my entire family for a short time. I adore my family; they are so much fun.  However, I was ready to get home and back to a schedule and Bridger was even more ready.  I think we're done travelling for a while.  These are a few of the pictures my sister took while we were there.

My mom made us get a family picture the moment we arrived.  Afterward, we all got frozen yogurt - our family's favorite treat.  I have beautiful sisters and my dad is the sweetest man alive.

He only stopped crying because my mom gave him a cookie...hmm.

Not the best picture of Ryan but its the only one we got with all of us in there. Bridger was in the worst mood the entire time we were there and Tim ended up getting a nasty cold the day we left.  We need a vacation from vactioning.

My sweet grandparents.  At the farewell, my grandpa sang Called To Serve in Spanish.  I balled through the whole thing, of course.

I was so happy to spend some time with Paige.  They live in Arizona now and I miss her so much.  We talk on the phone everyday and dream about being next door neighbors.  Some day.  

To Blog or not...

I've been having the hardest time getting on my blog lately, or anyone's for that matter. Maybe blogging is losing its appeal. I feel like if I want to get a picture out to people, I just use instagram.  Maybe I'm too lazy to jot some thoughts out, but if nothing else, I do need to write down what is going on in my life, just for myself.  Hopefully, if/when I go back and read some of these entries, I can say to myself,
Carlee, what an easy time you had.....Carlee, you really shouldn't have worried about that....Carlee, you look so much skinnier now than you did then...dang, girl!  Right.

So, Tim is in his second year and finals are in one week.  Yes, he is kind of freaking out.  In two weeks, it will all be over and I won't have to be a single parent anymore.  He is working so hard.  I love that guy so much.  We are still looking for something this summer and I keep asking Heavenly Father to help us find the best situation possible.  Lately though, I wonder if I should have been asking to help us find the best situation (without the possible stuff).  What is possible means another summer working for some government entity free of charge?  I guess it could be worse?  Last Sunday, I fasted for more faith.  I know there is always a positive to everything and I need to focus more on that...positive, positive, positive.

It snowed all day today, which means Bridger and I played inside all day too.  He went to bed early tonight.  I absolutely love the summer here but the winter is really hard for me.  My moods are probably tied to the weather, so I need to paint a room yellow or something.  Today, I thought about moving to Arizona and coming back in May.  I'll probably think about it tomorrow too.

Thanksgiving this year will go down as one of my favorites.  On a whim, all of my mom's sisters  (and families) came down to celebrate.  They are all gourmets and the food was out-of-this-world amazing.  Everyone loved Bridger so I got a nice little break.  St. George was sunny and beautiful.  We ate and walked, and saw Frozen (loved it!), and ate, and walked, and talked....love families so much.

Overall, life is good.  Last night, I laid in bed waiting for Tim to get home and remembered the Ensign sitting on the kitchen table.  I flipped to the back and read the stories from members around the world.  About half way through the first story, I started crying and I didn't stop until I had finished them all.  Maybe I just needed to cry, but I think I needed to feel the spirit more.  I love this gospel.  It is so simple and straight-forward.  I know that Heavenly Father cares more about his children and their individual lives than about politics and world news.  I want to be better.  I am so grateful for everything I have been blessed with - my husband. Bridger.  Family.  Isn't that what this life is all about?  Then I am truly blessed.

P.S. I dropped my phone in Target and it went splat in a big way.  I was able to get these videos off before it completely died.

Bridger's Milestones

I feel like I should write down a few things about Bridger boy, so that in the future when he asks, "Mom, what was I like as a baby," I can give him a few fun facts:

1 - You started walking at 10 months
2 - Your first word (besides mom and dad) was dog and for at least a month, everything was dog, dog, dog.
3 - You started sleeping 10-12 hours after you turned one...finally.  We put you in your own room at two months because you were such a noisy sleeper (toots, moans, groans, etc)
4 - You were (are) the most active little boy I've ever seen.  You run and run and love being outside more than just about anything.
5 - You started teething around 9 months and you are getting your first molar now..at 14 months.
6 - Bath time is your favorite.  You swing your legs over the tub before you are even undressed.
7 - Up until about 8 months, we carried you around in a bjorn.  When you saw us strap it on, you would cry because you were so excited to be carried.  Just the other day, you found it behind the toys and dragged it to me, wanting me to put you in it.
9 - Your favorite song, since you were three months old, is Beauty and the Beast's, "Tale as Old As Time."  Even when you are screaming in the car, you calm down in a split second when we turn on that song.
10 - You eat just about anything, but when you decide you don't want anymore, you put your hand in your mouth, and throw the food out - its a mess.  You really like sweet food, like fruit, cookies, ice cream, etc.  You love yogurt, but lately you only want it if I let you hold the spoon so that you can feed yourself.  When we go for walks, I give you food pouches in your stroller. When you are finished, you throw the pouches out of the stroller without even a thought.  You don't hold them or put them by your feet, you just toss them on the ground.  It is hilarious.
11 - You LOVE books.  Sometimes, I will turn around and catch you reading to yourself.  Mostly though, you push a book on my lap and whine until I start reading.  You like to read the same books over and over and over again.  Your favorite books are The Eye Book and the ABC Book, by Dr Seuss, Brown Bear, by Eric Carle, and I Love You Through And Through, by....I can't remember.

Bridger, you are the light in our family.  You are really shy, but have boundless energy.  Your dad and I are totally and completely in love with you and are so grateful you could be part of our family.